Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Just Packer Your Shit And Go Home

See what I did there?

Well, put a foam block of cheese on my head and call me a moron. Brett Favre is considering taking 'em down. Or whatever in the hell the opposite of "hanging 'em up" is.

Are you fucking serious, Favre? I should have known the prospect of not having to listen to various commentators verbally fellate you every Sunday was too good to be true. I'll admit that I cheered a little (okay, a lot) when you kicked the Seahawks' ass in the playoffs. Believe it or not, I actually hate Matt Hasselbeck even more than I hate you. That's one of the two things you had going for you. Now I think this retirement bullshit is just an excuse for you to have a good public cry every year without anyone calling you a pussy.

Do us all a favor, Favre. Give it up. Live on your farm in Mississippi, ride around on your tractor, go fishing, and watch NASCAR until your plaid La-Z-Boy chair has your ass print permanently embedded in it. Do whatever it is you rednecks love to do in your downtime. Stay away from the football field. I appreciate your contribution to the game, sir, but if I wanted to watch a middle-aged man engage in self-destructive behavior, I'd watch The Two Coreys.







1 comment:

Maggie said...

Lis?

I think I'm kind of in love with you right now.