Liveblogging the Draft with Mags and Lisa, Part III

MaggieI think Chris Berman is mocking Arizona. I think it's awesome.

LisaI hate them all. Dude, that suit.It gets worse with time.

Maggie: I keep hoping it's all been a hallucination brought on by too many hot wings and too much beer.

Lisa: I have had neither, and I can see it.

Maggie: Shit. There goes that dream.

Lisa: Mel Kiper Jr. reminds me of Sam Eagle from the Muppets.

Maggie: Exactly this. Except a little more dweeby. Like Sam Eagle with a pocket protector.

Lisa: Time for Matt Millen's annual fuckup. Which WR shall we take this year?

Maggie: Maybe they'll shock us and do something effective. Maybe the rivers will run red with blood, too.

Lisa:Well, Jon Kitna IS thisclose to Jesus. So it's possible.

Maggie: That's true. They are BFFs. I bet they'd braid each other's hair if Kitna had any. Oh, here we go. What? The Lions drafted Cherilus? Tackle. Well.

Lisa: GODSDER? SERIOUSLY? You should name your first child XOSDER. You know, for Red Sox.

Maggie: I totally should. And then I should name my second one 'My mom is a dumbass.'

Lisa: I like it.

Maggie: Sweet damn, Joe Flacco has one eyebrow.

Lisa: HELLO, UNIBROW. Kyle Boller, watch your butt. I will be as well. ZING!

Oh, Flaccos, you should not be this excited about your son moving to Baltimore. Trust me.

Maggie: How in the hell does UDel have a 1st round QB? This hurts my soul.

Lisa: Did these people have a Ravens hat standing by?

Maggie: I would imagine they bought all of them, just in case. I mean, the kid's about to get paid, it's not like they can't afford it.

Lisa: But...hats are expensive.

Maggie: Kid's about to get PAID.

Lisa: Well, maybe he can afford an eyebrow wax.

Maggie: UGH. Tell me I didn't just hear an Eagles chant. I hate that chant. I hate that chant with every fiber of my dark and twisted soul. And how fucking SHOCKING, Philly gets the 'Rocky' theme as their music. Shut up, all of you.

Lisa: I really hate Ron Jaworski.

Maggie: I'm not allowed to hate him. They kill people for that in Philly. Why do you think we have such a high murder rate? PS: Every one of those Eagles fans have been drunk since Thursday. Aaaaaaaaaaaand they trade the pick. Shocking. What the fuck did we even get for that? I say 'we' like I don't hate the Eagles.

Lisa: You get to suck it, Philly.

Maggie: Oh, the military is on stage. I was wondering what was up with the U!S!A! chant. What's with the guy in the Texas jersey? Does Texas love America more than the rest of us? Wait, what is with that trade? Oh, dear, I think the Eagles just did something vaguely smart. I don't think I can handle this.

You guys. Seriously. The eyebrows.