Liveblogging the NFL Draft with Mags and Lisa

Maggie: SHIT, I'm sorry, I missed the first three picks. To recap: Booing Jake Long is always required, nobody cares about Chris Long and it was probably kind of dumb of the Falcons to waste that pick on Matt Ryan, right?

Lisa: Sweet shit, Darren McFadden. He's going to be a misfit and a half. Also, re: Miami - I would not call Josh McCown a key addition.

Maggie: I can't believe he went FOURTH. I mean, DARREN MCFADDEN? He's a hot mess.

Lisa: I love it when these guys cry.

Maggie: Jets are up. Also, I think Chad Pennington's family made up that 12% of the poll. 'Do the Jets need to improve their quarterback situation?' 88% yes, 12% no. Who the hell says no there? Who? Well, damn, so Vernon Gholston is going to be a bust, then. Good to know. Shockey get traded yet?

Lisa: Nope. Should be in the next hour or so.

Right about here is where the crowd started booing the Pats pick.

Lisa: HA HA HA HA HA OH man

Maggie: Oh, shut it, ya fuckin' haters.

Lisa: It's not technically hating when they lost. Although it was hating earlier in the season when I was full swing. I want to make out with Michael Smith.

Maggie: Yespls. Immediate-style.

Lisa: TRADE THAT PICK YOU ASSHOLES. I hate Mel Kiper, Jr.

Maggie: I hate his fucking hair. FUCK YES, thank you. Trade that pick. What did we get for that? I missed that.

Lisa: I don't think they mentioned. Boomer just said they don't have details yet. LOL THIS DUDE IS IN EDGEWOOD, MD. GHETTO. Lake Mary is nice though. WHAT IN THE SHIT IS KEYSHAWN WEARING?

Maggie: I KNOW. GODDAMN. MY VIRGIN EYES.

Lisa: IT'S NOT JUST THE TIE, MAN. I mean, wear that shit separately. Not together.

Maggie: It's KEYSHAWN. Are you looking for good fashion choices? KEY. SHAWN.

Lisa: I haven't seen him wear anything too bad. I mean, he's not Michael Irvin.

Maggie: Or Deion Sanders.

Lisa: Jaguars? Traded to get to Derrick Harvey? Jesus.

Maggie:...huh. Kiiiiiinda dumb, Jacksonville. I wonder what they had to give up to jump up that high.

Lisa: He looks like a convict.

Maggie: Probably is. I mean, he played for Florida.

Lisa: Who is that douchebag in the bandana behind him? He looks like Leif Garret.

Maggie: And here I was thinking Richie Sambora. OH MY GOD, JACKSONVILLE, YOU ARE RETARDED. DID YOU GIVE UP EVERY PICK YOU HAVE TO GET TO DERRICK FUCKING HARVEY? I need a beer to deal with this stupidity.

I'd like to do my impression of the Bengals fans currently on my TV upon discovering that they'd just drafted Keith Rivers. Bengals fans: 'Well. Huh.'

Lisa: Way to be lifeless, Bengals fans.

Maggie: Well, it's Cincinnati. What do you expect? I'd be lifeless, too. I'm still busy being horrified at Jacksonville.

Meet Arizona's newest QB, Philly-local-boy-makes-good, Matt Ryan: