Lisa: HAHA. REDSKINS GOT PWNED
Maggie: WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED?
Lisa: Aw, Sean Taylor. They just replayed the Pats/Skins game. The 52-7one.
Maggie: Oh. That game was beautiful.
Lisa: Sean Taylor still makes me sad.
Maggie: Well, it's kind of a whole depressing thing. Has it been, like, a half an hour since the last pick, or is it just me?
Lisa: It seems like it. GOD DAMN, QUIT TRADING. Sam Baker looks Amish.
Maggie: What the FUCK is Atlanta doing? GOD DAMN, WHY ARE YOU THROWING PICKS AFTER THIS? Wait, have we seriously not seen any WRs drafted?
Lisa: I do not believe we have, no.
Maggie: THAT? Is deeply strange.
Lisa: This draft is kind of boring.
Maggie: You're just bored because you can't mock Brady Quinn this year.
Lisa: There's NO ONE to mock this year. Very sad. Oh, here we go. This had better not be a trade.
Maggie: For real. I will cut a bitch. Dude, Felix Jones looks like he's forty years old.
Lisa: He does. Perhaps we have another Miguel Tejada on our hands.
Maggie: I think we have to. No way is that guy 23 or under.
Lisa: Perhaps we need to do some investigative journalism.
Maggie: Like what? 'Hey, anyone know how old Felix Jones is?' Oh, hey, Steelers drafted a running back. Sweet.
Lisa: I fell asleep for a minute, this draft is so boring.
Maggie: This is, in fact, boring as shit. How many fucking picks do we have left in the first round.
Lisa: Devin Thomas looks pissed at the world. Eight. What is the purpose of Keyshawn's tie clip?
Maggie: To make my brain bleed. Why is he SHOUTING? And why is his pocket square green? Nothing else in that outfit is even close to green.
Lisa:To match the color of nausea one feels when they see his outfit. And the little checks on his shirt are green. It's GREEN GINGHAM, for God's sake.
Maggie: Okay, they look navy. I have been fooled by the gingham.
Lisa: Does Chris Johnson have gold teeth?
Maggie: Either that, or a terrible dentist. Jesus. Note: Still no Devin Thomas selection. I feel like he might start getting a little mad if they keep putting him on camera.
Lisa: Even I feel bad, and I enjoy other people's misery.
Maggie: Seriously, wasn't he supposed to go, like, fifteen picks ago? Aqib the pothead went before him. And this is officially the dumbest conversation ever on my TV. Drafted wide receivers rarely make an immediate impact? SAY IT AIN'T SO.
Lisa: Seriously, all I hear is 'BLAH BLAH BAL, BLAH!'
Maggie: Oh, poor DeSean Jackson, playing with his phone, like, 'Well, maybe it's broken.'
Lisa: Houston should take him. Wait, LIMAS SWEED? WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THESE NAMES?
Maggie: I have no idea. Dallas takes Mike Jenkins and we STILL haven't drafted a single WR. What the fish?
Lisa: It's an overrated position.
Maggie: Still. Apparently, this is the year of the defensive back. Is it funny or horrifying that Seattle gets Pearl Jam for its music?
Lisa: Horrifying.
Maggie: Which makes it funny. Oh, GOD, this is the longest first round ever.
Lisa: Horrifying is always funny. Unless it's a clown or a tweezer to the eye.
Maggie: Thank you for that eye image. I'm calling you at 3 AM when I can't sleep.
Lisa: I wish the Germ would get traded already. Can you fail a physical because of herpes?
Maggie: No. Just ask Ron Mexico.
Lisa: I think prison physicals are less stringent. Like, they only involve a glove and a finger.
Maggie: Mmm. Smells like romance.
Lisa: Smells like ghetto romance.
Darren McFadden and Felix Jones, or your newest Raider and Cowboy, respectively. Yep. I'm going to get a lot of mileage out of this one.
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