It's Patriot's Day up in Massachusetts, which means that thousands of schoolchildren are learning that the only reason for a day off school in April is a ridiculously early Red Sox game. Oh, and there's some marathon or something, too.
Anyway, the Sox are on the mound, Manny's inexplicably out of the lineup again (which is going to MURDER my fantasy team, for the record) and apparently there's some killer death flu going on in the clubhouse and Kason Gabbard is currently no hitting the Sox (man, I hope that works).
So here. Have a little evidence as to why you should always, always objectify the pitcher.
